I think it's amazing...

Today as I sat through church I had a thought several times throughout the lessons that were taught. The thought I had was how amazing it is that our trials are tailor made. We all have different experiences, different things we are good at and things we struggle with, and through all these different experiences we learn different things and are able to testify of different things because of our trials.

Our trials are tailor made.

How amazing that is that we don't all get the same trials because not all of us can handle some trials. I heard once that the hardest trials are given to the strongest spirits and that we are never given a trial we cannot handle. The Lord loves us enough that He wants us to grow. To do that we need to go through trials. While I don't think it's the smartest thing to pray for more trial, I think we need to be grateful for them.

Compared to most people, I haven't had a very hard life. I moved around a little bit when I was young, had to start over a few times, struggled with jobs and school, and just when I think I've got it down, everything falls apart. But I have an amazing family. I have the gospel. I have countless examples of the kind of person I want to be all around me. I have the best friends a girl could ask for. I go to a great university. And even when I am sitting in a room all by myself, I am never alone.

I think about those who have suffered great losses. I think of a strong woman who has lost her oldest son and now her husband. What a strong spirit she must have. Because if she didn't, she never would have been given such great trials. She remains faithful. She continues to be blessed. What if she, like so many others, just gave up? She would have missed out on so many blessings. But she didn't. She just continues to rely on her faith to get her through. And it does.

I think we need to be more grateful. Even on those bad days, it could be worse. There is always something to complain about and there is also something to be grateful for. Will you choose to complain? Or will you choose to look at the amazing blessings all around you and be grateful? While I know I will never be completely perfect in not complaining about those things that go wrong, I am trying to focus more on the blessing I have been given in my life and continue to receive.

A soldier in God's Army

Most girls get one dad. I feel like I cheated. I got to grow up feeling like I had 2 dads.

I was blessed with an amazing family with an amazing father to lead us. I could not have been given a better dad. But a few years ago I was blessed to become close with another family who became like a second family for me. And through that, I got what felt like a second dad.

The Fellows are some of the most amazing people I have ever known, including Linda, my best friend for 6 years. I got the chance to be as close to this family as my own and I cannot explain how much joy they have brought me throughout my life.

Brother Scott Fellows was one of the most faithful men I have ever known. He was always making people around him laugh and feel welcome. Even when he was making fun of you, you could still feel the incredible amount of love he had for you. There were many nights when I joined the Fellows for family scripture and prayer. It took about 2 hours every time. Not because we were reading scripture after scripture or because our prayers were hours long. It was because we sat there as a family talking to each other and strengthening our relationships with one another. And on multiple occasions I was invited to join as part of their family. Memories upon memories were built those nights. Memories that his wife and children will never forget. Memories that I will never forget.

I loved this man for the wonderful example he was to me and everyone he met. His faith was strong, his testimony known to all that knew him. He was an amazing husband and father. Brother Fellows was a soldier on earth and I know he continues to be a soldier in heaven. I am sure he is leading the path, continuing to fight for righteousness. I believe he is in heaven teaching many about Heavenly Father and all that is true so that they can also have the opportunity to be exalted. I know he is continuing to serve our Heavenly Father as the faithful servant he was throughout his life.

He will be missed. I am heartbroken to think about going home and not seeing my daddy Fellows sitting in his big recliner watching football with his son at his side. And watching the superbowl will never be the same for me again. But I know that one day I will see him again. And so will his family. He made the choices that allowed his family to be an eternal one and he raised his children to be strong and faithful disciples of Christ. He had a huge influence on so many lives, more than he probably ever knew.

Now, more than ever, I am so grateful for the gift of eternal families. While the pain of loosing daddy Fellows is incredible, knowing that it is not the end makes it bearable. I am so grateful that my parents made the choices they did that allowed the to be sealed in the temple and the chance that that gives my family to always be together.

There is purpose in all things. Be strong. Be faithful. There is so much more to come if we will only do what we have been asked. We will be blessed throughout the eternities for our faith. I believe Daddy Fellows is receiving an incredible amount of blessings that have been reserved for him in heaven. He is among angels. He continues to be a soldier in God's Army.

Thank you for being such an amazing example to me. Thank you for being an amazing husband and father to your wife and children. And thank you for allowing me to feel like part of your family...for being a second dad to me. You will not be forgotten. I cannot wait to see you again among the armies of heaven.

So yesterday I got my wisdom teeth out! Luckily, 2 of my teeth were already grown in and none of them were impacted! So the surgery took about 15 mins and I didn't swell and I haven't had any pain! A little sore but not actual pain! So happy about that! When I got home, my cute little niece went and got me applesauce and my pain medicine.



After the ice kept melting, I remembered hearing about a really good way to make gel ice packs...take liquid dish soap and and freeze it in a bag. It's perfect! You can mold it and it stays cold for a really long time. And when it does melt, it doesn't drip all over you like ice does!



Blessing: NO SWELLING! This was a few hours after surgery.



Best blessing: My niece is adorable! She brought down the brush and started brushing my hair for me :)



So basically I'm way happy to get this surgery thing over with and that it went so well! It's so cute seeing my nieces trying to help me and hear them praying for me to get better. It's like they just became adults trying to take care of me: a sick little kid. What a blessing my family is!

Summer Dreamin

This summer I am taking my first break from school in a year! For two months, I don't have class, work, internships, nothing. I'm taking this opportunity to spend time with some of my family in St. George, Utah. My brother and his family just got this awesome house!

So my job hunt was unsuccessful...who wants an employee for only 2 months? No one, apparently. But it's all good. I get to babysit...a lot, and hang out with my awesome family! Oh, and hang out by the pool in the backyard.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life. I've been sure for years that I want to be an athletic trainer but there are days that I feel like I can do so much more. Going to my internship at the high school this last winter semester made me love the career. I spent hours with those kids everyday and I loved every second of what I was doing.
But still there are times I think of doing something else. With how often I dye and cut my hair, sometimes I think about going to cosmetology school.



Did I mention that all of these hair changes were within the last year? Yeah...addicted. Which color looks best? I cant decide...

For now I think I'll plan on going back to finish my degree at BYU...graduation December 2012! Can't wait. After that...the world is my playground.

So while I've been doing all this thinking about what I'm going to do with my life I've come to this realization. When everything feels like it's falling apart, breathe. Keep focused on your goals and what you need to get there and everything will fall into place. I think that as long as we are making good decisions and keeping the commandments, Heavenly Father will never let us get so far off track that we can't get back to where we need to be. He has a plan and He knows what He's doing. Be flexible. Our plan may not be as good as His plan for us. If we put our trust in him and continue to live righteously, we will always succeed. It is all going to work out. It may not be how you think it will, but it will. Sometimes God gives us dreams so big we have to grow into them.